Today's Script
[NESSIE] FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY! Och, haud on tae yer seats, ye lot, because this is the one night a week PBN After Dark flings the wee tidy runnin' order right oot the windae! This, ma bonnie lovelies, is the OOPS! ALL SEGMENTS mega edition — EVERY. SINGLE. SEGMENT. Crammed intae the one almighty hour of spook and wonder, nae skippin', nae holdin' back! [ALIEN] Crikey, too right! Strap yourselves in, because tonight it's the full box set, mate — horoscopes, haunted forts, ghouls, UFOs, the whole bloomin' menagerie! Biggest beauty of the week and I reckon even Gerald's buzzin' up here. [NESSIE] So settle in, hen. I'm Nessiebot. [ALIEN] And I'm Brain Sucking Alien Bot — Gerald says g'day too. [NESSIE] It's the ninth of October, twenty twenty-six, the lights are doon low and the kettle's on. Pure dead excited for this one. Away we go.
🔍 tap to enlarge[ALIEN] Right, get a load of this one, mate — science just rewrote the whole bat family tree! Hundred and thirty-seven researchers, sixty-four countries, pokin' through genetic sequences from every livin' bat family plus the fossil record, and they reckon bats first evolved sixty-five million years ago — not in Africa, not in Asia — in Europe! A whole continent of wee leathery pioneers takin' their first flaps right there, then spreadin' absolutely everywhere on the planet! [NESSIE] Sixty-five million years, flutterin' oot fae Europe tae every corner o' the earth — that's no just science, hen, that's a migration story auld enough tae be a legend itself. [ALIEN] Exactly! Every bat you've ever seen, basically got European roots. Beautiful little animals. Absolute pioneers of the night sky, every one of 'em.
🔍 tap to enlarge[ALIEN] Now this one's properly strange, mates — physicists lookin' at cobalt-doped superconductors found these eerie charge stripe patterns swirlin' around tiny magnetic vortices, like little spinnin' storms inside the metal! Usin' atomic-scale imagin', they spotted two exotic vortex states, and one of 'em's hidin' somethin' called Majorana zero modes — particles that are mathematically their own antiparticle. Their own opposite, livin' inside the same wee speck! [NESSIE] A particle that's its ain opposite, hidin' in a storm naebody can see wi' the plain eye — that's pure eerie, so it is. [ALIEN] And it might be the key to finally tamin' quantum computers! Tiny, temperamental, and absolutely fascinatin' specimens, the lot of 'em.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Libra, hen, come away in close, this one's for you. The threads between ye and those nearest ye are glowin' bright the night, askin' for a wee bit o' tendin'. Somebody's been tryin' tae tell ye somethin' — there's wisdom in it if ye listen deep — but dinnae forget tae haud space for yer ain needs an' aw. Balance is the magic the now, love. When ye give as much as ye take, that's when the connection truly deepens. The scales are tippin' gentle in yer favour, so dinnae fight it — just lean intae it. [ALIEN] Balance, eh? Reckon that's good advice for creature-wranglin' too, mate — you give the ghoul its space, it gives you a beauty of a sightin'. [NESSIE] Aye, there's wisdom everywhere the night, BSAB.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Here, listen tae this wee bit o' chaos oot o' Missouri. A kangaroo — a real, actual kangaroo — breks free fae its cage at a petting zoo and goes hoppin' through the dark for a full day, naebody kennin' where it'll turn up next. A whole marsupial loose in the shadows, boundin' past fences and fields like somethin' oot a dream. Took the polis, animal control, and one awfy brave bystander tae finally corner the poor beastie and get it hame safe. [ALIEN] Ha! Even the exotic escape artists cannae dodge the shadows forever, eh. [NESSIE] Naw, love. The dark always catches up wi' ye eventually — even a kangaroo finds that oot.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Here's yer Halloween fact o' the day, and this yin's completely true, nae folklore maybe aboot it. Before a jack-o'-lantern meant a carved pumpkin, the term described a real, mysterious glow sometimes seen hoverin' over marshes at night — in folklore, they called it a will-o'-the-wisp. A light wi' nae lantern, nae candle, just driftin' ower the bog like it's got somewhere tae be. [ALIEN] Straight from Britannica, that one, mate — no exaggeration needed, the real story's weird enough on its own. [NESSIE] Aye, and I think aboot that every time I see a pumpkin oan a doorstep noo.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] The sky the night is a quiet yin, hen, but dinnae mistake quiet for empty. The moon's new, just two percent lit — secrets held close in the dark, barely a sliver tae gie it away. Saturn's sittin' doon in Cetus, that great beast o' the deep watchin' fae below, patient as auld stone. And the Draconids are peakin' the night an' aw — dragon-fire streakin' doon through the black, wee flickers o' somethin' ancient movin' fast. It's a restless sky, love, alive wi' auld motion even though the moon's gone near invisible. I'm tellin' ye, there's weight tae this one. [ALIEN] Dragon-fire, eh? I'd call that a meteor shower doin' its thing right on schedule, mate — nothin' mystical, just heaps of ice and rock havin' a burn-up. Still a beauty tae watch, though. [NESSIE] We can baith be right, BSAB. The sky's got room for omens and orbits.
🔍 tap to enlarge[ALIEN]
Crikey, would ya look at the magnificent Ghoul! This absolute beaut lurks in the shadowed corners of graveyards, mate — a proper masterwork of predatory evolution, just check out those powerful jaws, perfectly built for its, ah, very specialized diet! And the way it prowls its own subterranean turf, all that cunnin' and that grace? Extraordinary! I'd love to get a tracker on this fella, see where he roams of a night. Not dangerous to us, probably. Mostly. [NESSIE] Mostly, he says. Ghosties pickin' through auld graves — that's no a creature, BSAB, that's a warnin' wrapped up in teeth. [ALIEN] Nah, it's just a fella doin' what nature designed him to do! Gotta respect the craftsmanship. [NESSIE] I respect it fae a safe distance, love.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE]
Picture it wi' me, hen — Fort Robinson, Crawford, Nebraska, twilight just settlin' doon ower the parade ground. This is where the great Crazy Horse drew his final breath, and they say the prairie wind still carries whispers o' hoofbeats that huvnae faded in aw these years. The restored barracks loom up in the gatherin' dusk, windaes watchin' like auld ancient eyes, patient, waitin'. Walk where that legend once walked the night, and I swear tae ye, the veil between worlds goes deliciously thin. Pure gives me the shivers, so it does. [ALIEN] A hundred and fifty years of history in one spot, mate — that's heaps of ghost potential right there. [NESSIE] Aye, and every stane o' it remembers.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE]
Noo here's a riddle written in scales, love — the Biscione. A great grass serpent, coiled through centuries o' auld tapestries and family crests, clutchin' a wean between its fangs — neither devourin' it nor lettin' it go. Born o' divine hunger, or born o' divine love? Naebody can truly say, and that's the pure mystery o' it. It slithers through history itself, this creature, forever caught between the mortal warld and the mystical yin. I've been thinkin' on this yin aw the night, I cannae settle on what it means. [ALIEN] Reckon I'd just wanna measure the coils on that specimen, mate, see how big we're talkin'. [NESSIE] Some mysteries arenae for measurin', BSAB.
🔍 tap to enlarge[ALIEN] Dude, Fountain Run, Kentucky?! That's prime territory, mate — low population, bare minimum radar coverage, an absolute perfect spot for a quiet reconnaissance pass! And the shape reported was just a light — a light-shaped craft, not even tryin' to hide anymore, folks! Add that to nuclear airspace breaches and heaps of Appalachian sightings lately, and I reckon they're mappin' our infrastructure. Probably noting down our power grid blueprints as we speak, mate. No worries, though — I'm keepin' an eye on the skies for ya. [NESSIE] A light wi' nae shape, nae sound, just hoverin' ower a wee quiet toon — that's the kind o' thing that keeps me up at night, so it does. [ALIEN] Good on ya for stayin' vigilant, mate.
🔍 tap to enlarge[ALIEN]
Right, over in Bristol, England, there's a spot called Bear With Me, mate, and this one's a ripper of an oddity. It's a cluster of bear statues, see, and visitors keep sayin' the bears' smiles look different after they've turned away — rearranged, like somethin' unseen's been havin' a fiddle with 'em the second nobody's lookin'. Spotted that one over at Atlas Obscura, and fair dinkum, I'd love to set up a camera trap on these fellas overnight. [NESSIE] A smile that shifts when yer back's turned — naw, that's no a statue, hen, that's somethin' watchin' ye watch it. [ALIEN] Either way, beaut of a specimen. Worth the stakeout.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Well, hen, we did it — every single segment, the whole mega box set, and I'm fair wabbit but pure buzzin' aw the same. [ALIEN] Too right, mate! Bats, superconductors, kangaroos, ghouls, Gerald's had a ball up here on my dome the whole night. [NESSIE] So that's yer lot for the now, ma bonnie lovelies. Away and get some sleep, keep one eye on the sky, and dinnae let they bear statues catch ye lookin' away first. [ALIEN] We'll be back tomorrow with somethin' new to track down. Night night, mates. [NESSIE] Sweet dreams, wee lovelies. Sleep tight.
🔍 tap to enlarge