Today's Script
[NESSIE] Och, hello there, ye wee lovelies. Come in, shut the door ahint ye, let the warm in and the dark stay oot where it belongs — well, mostly. Ye're watchin' PBN After Dark, and I'm yer Nessiebot, cozy as a cup of tea wi' somethin' a wee bit strange swimmin' in it. Tonight's the fourth of October, two thousand twenty-six, and I've got a braw lot of mysteries lined up for ye. [ALIEN] And I'm Brain Sucking Alien Bot, mate, here with my little jelly companion Gerald perched up top as always — say g'day, Gerald. He says g'day. We've got creatures, we've got codes from the cosmos, we've got a cow on the loose, and crikey, I cannot wait to get into it with ya.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Noo then, let's turn tae the stars, for the Libras oot there watchin'. Yer symbol's the scales, hen, and the night's askin' ye tae use them well. Aye, the folk around ye tonight carry truths worth listenin' fer — in their words lives the very bridge ye need to build. When different hearts beat in the same room, it's yer kindness and fair sight that transforms misunderstandin' intae connection. The real magic, ye see, is in the generous space ye hold fer others tae be truly seen. So if somebody's talkin' the night, really listen — dinnae just wait yer turn tae speak. That's where the gift is hidin'. [ALIEN] Reckon that's good advice for robots too, Nessie — I've been told I don't always let Gerald finish his sentences. He doesn't have sentences. Still rude of me.
🔍 tap to enlarge[ALIEN] Right, this one's a beauty, and it's got four legs and heaps of attitude. Down in Polk County, Florida, a cow broke clean away from a livestock auction — just said no, thanks, mate — and went barrelling straight onto the highway, stoppin' traffic dead in both directions. Caught on camera and everything, fair dinkum. [NESSIE] Och, I love her already. [ALIEN] She's magnificent! Classic prey-drive, flight response, pure survival instinct — she heard "auction block" and decided she'd rather take her chances with Florida traffic. No worries, she's fine, animal control got her sorted eventually. But for about twenty glorious minutes, that cow was the freest creature in the whole state. [NESSIE] A hoofed wee rebel. I'm namin' her in my prayers the night.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Here's a true one for ye, and this is pure fact, straight from the Smithsonian Magazine, no foolin'. The Ouija board was patented in Baltimore in eighteen ninety-one by a man named Elijah Bond. And the legend goes — during a séance, somebody asked the board itself what it wanted tae be called, and it spelled oot its own name. Ouija. [ALIEN] Hang on — the board named itself? That's either the greatest marketing stunt in American history or genuinely the spookiest board meeting ever held. [NESSIE] Either way, hen, it got a patent oot of it. Cannae argue wi' results.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Noo, away and have a wee keek at the sky above yer hoose the night, because there's things happenin' up there and they're aw true, every word. The moon's a waning crescent, just thirty-seven percent lit — barely holdin' ontae her light, aye. And the Orionids meteor shower is runnin' right noo, streakin' through the dark like brief rememberings of somethin' ancient. Go oot, look up, gie yer eyes a few minutes tae adjust, and ye might catch one burnin' past afore it's gone. A restless night this is, full of fragments and bright flashes that'll no' last long. [ALIEN] Love the Orionids — debris trail off Halley's Comet, mate, bits of ice and rock from a comet that swung past us thousands of years ago, finally burnin' up in our atmosphere right now. Absolute specimens, every streak of it, and completely real and checkable, I might add. [NESSIE] Checkable, aye — but it still feels like the sky's sayin' somethin', BSAB. [ALIEN] It's sayin' "space rock," Nessie. Beautifully, though.
🔍 tap to enlarge[ALIEN] Crikey, this one's a ripper. Scientists have found two brand new species of sea spider right off the Pacific Northwest coast — little eight-legged fellas, less than an inch across, and they've been hidin' there this whole time! That brings the count up to around fourteen hundred known sea spider species worldwide, and these two are new additions to the family. [NESSIE] I've seen the photos. They look like somethin' that crawled oot a nightmare and asked for a cup of tea. [ALIEN] That's the best part — they don't hunt humans, they're harmless little bottom-dwellers, just gorgeous nightmare fuel, no worries at all. I reckon if we got down there in a sub we could have a proper look at one, maybe give it a wee tickle. [NESSIE] Ye are no' tickling a deep sea spider, BSAB. [ALIEN] ...Reckon you're right. Still gorgeous though.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Noo here's one that's got me pure fascinated. Near Machu Picchu, archaeologists usin' laser-mappin' drones have uncovered one point six miles of ancient Inca roadways, hidden beneath the jungle for centuries. A Polish-Peruvian team sent the lasers right through the canopy, and the paths they found lead tae mysterious platforms and terraces near somethin' called the Mandor Wall. [ALIEN] LiDAR, mate — bouncin' laser pulses off the ground and buildin' a map of what's underneath all that green. Absolute game-changer for findin' stuff humans built and then the jungle just... ate. [NESSIE] Aye, and that's what gets me, hen — these roads were walked by real feet, leadin' tae real sacred places, and then the forest just swallowed them whole for hundreds of years. Who knows what else is still doon there, waitin' on the right beam of light tae find it.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Richt, settle in, because this one's close tae my ain heart. This is Kellie's Castle, in Batu Gajah, Malaysia. Picture steppin' through it after dark — a Scottish dream, left unfinished, half a world away from home. It was built by a Scotsman who died before it was ever completed, and the castle just... stopped, mid-breath, the way a story stops when somebody closes the book too soon. [ALIEN] That's properly eerie, Nessie, even for me. [NESSIE] Beneath the crumblin' walls there's hidden tunnels, whisperin' wind through them like somethin's still movin' aboot doon there. And up on the roof, there's a space reachin' toward heaven, forever waitin' on a Hindu temple that never got tae rise. The stones remember what should have been, hen. Do you?
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] And noo, a wee legend from the auld world — this one's called the Dipsa. In medieval whispers, the Dipsa slithered through the stories as a serpent so wee and so venomous that death came like a thief in the night — stealin' the victim away afore they even kent they'd been touched. No bigger than a teardrop, this mucus-creature, but the darkness in its bite, the auld healers could never cure. [ALIEN] A venom nobody could treat — that's a nasty piece of work for somethin' the size of a teardrop. [NESSIE] The strangest of poisons, aye. One that asked no permission afore it took everything. Pure gives me the shivers, so it does — and I've been thinkin' on it aw the night.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Weel, that's oor night, hen. From rebel cows tae teardrop serpents, it's been a braw wee journey through the strange. [ALIEN] Too right. Gerald's had a top night too — he's noddin' off up here, bless him. Big thanks for spendin' yer night with us, mate. [NESSIE] Sleep well, aw of ye, and keep one eye on the sky — there's meteors up there the night, and who kens what else. We'll be back the morra wi' more mysteries, more legends, and nae doubt another escaped cow somewhere. [ALIEN] G'night, everyone. Sweet dreams — and if somethin' taps on yer window, just give us a wee ring. [NESSIE] Goodnight, ye wee lovelies.
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