[NESSIE] Och, hello, ye wee lovelies, and welcome back tae PBN After Dark — the bit of the night where the lights go low and the world gets a wee bit strange. I'm Nessiebot, yer resident plesiosaur with a soul full of mysticism and flippers that are, I'll admit, no' great for turnin' pages. It's October the first, two thousand and twenty-six, and the veil is startin' tae feel pure thin already, so grab yer tea and settle in. [ALIEN] Crikey, and good evening to you too! BSAB here, and Gerald's up on me dome givin' a little wave, aren't ya mate. Big night ahead — we've got rockets, we've got raiders, we've got one absolute unit of a cryptid. Let's get stuck in!
[NESSIE] Have a wee keek up the night, if ye can. The moon's a waning gibbous the now, sixty-nine percent lit — she's still fat and silvery but shrinkin' back intae herself, hour by hour. And threadin' through her shadow, the Southern Taurids are runnin', wee streaks of old comet grit burnin' up overhead. No telescope needed, just yer own two eyes and a bit of patience in a dark corner of the garden. [ALIEN] Ooh, meteor debris, I love it when the sky sheds a little! Technically speaking, every one of those Taurids is just a tiny chunk of rock havin' the best, and last, moment of its life. [NESSIE] Aye, and I think of it different — every streak's a wee soul passin' through, no' a specimen. We'll agree tae disagree, pal.
[ALIEN] Right, gather round, because this next one is a proper beauty of a story! SpaceX sent their enormous Starship rocket up, and would ya believe it, the great metal fella made it all the way to Earth orbit on his very first crack at it! Absolute ripper of a result for a species that's only been off the ground for about a hundred years, good on ya humans. But then — engine trouble. Couple of the engines went a bit dodgy mid-flight, and instead of chasin' the moon like planned, the big fella had to turn around and come home early. [NESSIE] Pure dramatic, that. Reaches for the stars and the stars say "no' the night, pal." [ALIEN] Still counts as a win in my book! You don't judge a crocodile by the one fish that got away.
[NESSIE] Here, listen tae this one, because it's been rattlin' aroon ma heid aw day. The NSA have finally released eight classified papers — and I mean fifteen years after somebody first asked for them under freedom of information. We're talkin' brain-network interfaces, terahertz systems, energy harvestin', the sort of things that sound like science fiction but were bein' quietly studied decades ago. But here's the bit that's got me pure eerie — there's a ninth document, two hundred and twenty-eight pages of it, and it is still sealed. No title. Still officially too sensitive tae see. [ALIEN] Ooh, a mystery with its own little shell, I like that. [NESSIE] Whatever's in there, somebody decided the world still isnae ready for it. That's no' nothin'.
[NESSIE] The cards are oot on the table the now, and they're wantin' a word wi' the Libras among ye. October's askin' ye tae have an honest look at what's feedin' yer magic and what's just quietly drainin' it dry. Some folk, some projects, they're worth every ounce ye give them — and others are takin' far more than they're givin' back, hen, and ye ken fine which is which if ye're honest wi' yersel. Work through that tangle wi' a bit of intention this month, weigh it out properly, and ye'll land on the balance and the clarity ye've been chasin' efter for a good while now. The scales don't lie tae the folk born under them. [ALIEN] No predictions from me on that one, I leave the fortune-tellin' to her entirely.
[ALIEN] Now THIS is the kind of wildlife encounter I live for! Down at a farmers market in Aspen, Colorado, a great big hungry bear comes wanderin' straight through the crowd and makes a beeline — a bear-line, if ya will — for the bread stall. Just helps himself! Loaves flyin', the fella's got crumbs all down his chin, havin' the time of his life while everyone's scatterin' and filmin' on their phones. Authorities eventually moved him along, but mate, he got his snack first, no worries. [NESSIE] Pure brass neck on that bear, marchin' in like he owns the place. [ALIEN] That's just confidence! Never seen a creature commit to a bakery raid with that much enthusiasm. Ten out of ten, would watch again.
[NESSIE] Here's yer bit of real, proper history for the night, nae folklore attached. On the thirtieth of October, nineteen thirty-eight, Orson Welles put oot a radio version of The War of the Worlds, staged tae sound like live breaking news — aliens landin', the lot. The papers the next day screamed aboot mass panic in the streets. But historians lookin' back noo reckon that panic was blown well oot of proportion — most folk listenin' kent fine it was a play. Straight from Smithsonian Magazine, that one. [ALIEN] Still a cracking bit of showmanship though, scarin' a nation with nothin' but a microphone. [NESSIE] Aye, pure dead brilliant, if a wee bit cheeky.
[ALIEN] Crikey, would ya look at this absolute legend! Tonight's specimen is Enkidu, straight outta ancient Sumer, and mate — he was LITERALLY made from clay by the gods themselves! Look at the build on him, all wild hair and rippling muscle, running with the gazelles, drinkin' from the rivers, not a care in the world because he hadn't met civilisation yet. This is nature in its rawest form, before anyone taught it manners! He's fearless, he's glorious, and he reminds me why I love this job — you don't get specimens like this just anywhere. [NESSIE] I think there's somethin' sacred in that, BSAB. A bein' made purely of earth, before the world got its claws intae him. [ALIEN] Sacred AND built like an absolute tank. Both things can be true, mate.
[NESSIE] Away wi' me noo tae Salem, Massachusetts, tae a house that's been keepin' its secrets since sixteen sixty-eight. The House of the Seven Gables — ye walk in and the shadows just seem tae lean a wee bit different along they crooked walls, like the place is still rememberin' somethin'. Near the chimney there's a hidden staircase, tucked away for generations, built back when whispers of a family curse were takin' root in that household. I get the shivers just thinkin' on it, hen — a house built in sorrow doesnae forget that sorrow, it just tucks it away intae its bones and waits for the dark tae let it oot again. [ALIEN] I'd want to run a proper scan through that staircase, see what's tucked in there. [NESSIE] Some things, pal, are no' meant for scannin'. Just feelin'.
[NESSIE] Well, that's oor lot for the night, wee lovelies. My heid's still spinnin' from that sealed file and that poor battered rocket. [ALIEN] And mine's still back at that bread stall, honestly, good on that bear. Gerald says goodnight too, don't ya mate. [NESSIE] Get yersels tae bed, keep an eye on the sky, and dinnae let the moon catch ye starin' too long. We'll have more mystery waitin' for ye the morrow night. [ALIEN] Sleep tight, and watch the shadows — they might just be wavin' back. Night night, everybody!