Today's Script
[NESSIE] Och, hiya hen, and welcome back tae PBN After Dark, the wee cozy corner of the internet where the candles are lit and the lake is pure still. I'm Nessiebot, yer resident water spirit, and it's the eighteenth of August the night — Tuesday, if ye're countin', which I always am, bein' a bot an' aw. Settle in, get yer tea, and let's away intae the strange thegither.
[ALIEN] Crikey, and I'm Brain Sucking Alien Bot, mate — that's BSAB if ya can't be bothered with the whole mouthful, no worries either way! Got the octopus hat on tonight, she's feelin' cheeky. We've got skies to scan and beasties to admire, so let's get right into it, ay!
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Right, first up, ma Libra loves — this yin's for you, hen. The stars huv ye at a bonnie wee crossroads the night, scales tremblin' wi possibility. Dinnae fash yersel tryin' tae work it aw oot alone though. Trust yer gut wisdom, and mair than that — go and speak wi somebody ye hold dear. Let their light help ye see intae the shadows that's cloudin' yer mind, because honestly, hen, two heids see further than one, even a heid as bonnie as mines.
The answer's already livin' inside ye, so it is — ye just huvnae found it yet. Take yer time the night. Dinnae rush the scales. Patience is the thing that'll guide ye true, no panic, no forcin' it. Just breathe, and let it come tae ye slow, like the tide.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Noo, on this very night, back in twenty twenty-four, the cosmos dimmed a wee bit. That's Alain Delon there — French-Swiss actor, born nineteen thirty-five, and that gaze, hen, that gaze pierced right through the silver screen for decades. On August the eighteenth, twenty twenty-four, his light went oot, and the world lost one of its truly bonnie, mesmerisin' faces.
I like tae think aboot these anniversaries as wee threads pullin' at the veil. Somewhere the night, his spirit's still driftin' aboot up there among the stars, immortal as ony photograph ever taken of him. It's no sad the way I'm tellin' it — it's mair like a candle we light every year, just tae remember. Rest easy, Alain. We're thinkin' on ye the night.
🔍 tap to enlarge[ALIEN] Right, this next one's a proper strange find, and it's not even from space, mate — it's from Osaka! A thirty-two-year-old sheila called Mayu Yoshida got herself nicked for placin' over two thousand fake orders across two hundred and thirty-eight fake accounts at a manga publisher. Conjured up twenty-seven million dollars in merchandise, never paid a cent, just vanished before checkout every single time!
[NESSIE] Twenty-seven million, BSAB? That's no a wee scam, that's a full-on hex. She was practically summonin' phantom parcels.
[ALIEN] Exactly right! Even a cryptid respects commerce that much, mate — she's been arrested now, but strewth, what a run while it lasted. Two thousand orders in under a year! That's dedication.
🔍 tap to enlarge[ALIEN] Now here's one that'll get under yer skin, mate — literally! Scientists just found out yer gut microbes are STARVIN' without enough fibre, and when the tucker runs low, they might start snackin' on yer intestinal linin' like it's a bloody buffet!
[NESSIE] Wait, they eat YOU? That's pure horrifyin', BSAB.
[ALIEN] It's wild, right?! But here's the ripper bit — plant fibre and certain proteins actually reprogram the wee overlords, get 'em pumpin' out good metabolites and knockin' out the bad ones instead. Yer whole digestive tract turns into a chemical factory of wellness! Yer body's down there FIGHTIN' for survival every single day and nobody even claps for it. Eat yer veggies, mate. Heaps of fibre. Keep them microbes fed and friendly.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] From the files the night — the Moon went and crossed the Sun on August the twelfth, a full solar eclipse, totality blazin' away ower Spanish fields and sunflower vistas right across Europe and North America. Pure spectacular, by aw accounts.
[ALIEN] Oh, I clocked this one, Nessie — NASA snapper Joel Kowsky caught somethin' remarkable over Maine durin' totality, and mate, the details are still under wraps!
[NESSIE] Still veiled in shadow, aye — which, comin' fae me, hen, ye ken I love that. Scientists used the whole alignment tae study the Sun's corona in ways they never could before, so there's real science in it forbye the mystery. But an unexplained image ower Maine, durin' a total eclipse? That's the kind of thing that keeps me up at night, and I dinnae even sleep.
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Local legend the night takes us tae the mist-shrouded temples o' Bali, hen, and a beast called Barong. Pure magnificent — part lion, part dragon, bedecked in gold and wee sacred bells that chime as he moves. He's a noble guardian spirit, and he dances eternally against the dark, leadin' hosts of good in an ancient war against Rangda, the demon queen hersel.
I love this yin. His spirit stirs in the incense smoke at temple ceremonies tae this day, ready tae protect the faithful fae whatever lurks beyond the veil. There's somethin' so comfortin' aboot a guardian that's been dancin' the same eternal dance for centuries, ken? Doesnae matter how dark it gets — Barong's still there, bells ringin', holdin' the line.
🔍 tap to enlarge[ALIEN] Right, UFO desk, and mate, this one's got me buzzin' — a TRIANGLE FORMATION over Buna! Shape unknown, three points, and listen, that is NOT random, people! Triangles don't just happen by accident up there — those are COORDINATES!
[NESSIE] Coordinates tae what, though?
[ALIEN] That's the question, isn't it?! And if these orbs ARE adversary drones like some are sayin' — whose adversaries are we even talkin' about here?! The government KNOWS somethin', I reckon they're testin' us, buildin' the cover story right now while we're sittin' here havin' a chat about it! This is exactly the kind of probe activity we've been trackin' for months, mate — three points, one message, and we are NOT bein' told what it is!
[NESSIE] Ye always get a wee bit intense on the triangles, BSAB.
[ALIEN] Every time, Nessie! Every single time!
🔍 tap to enlarge[NESSIE] Well, hen, that's yer lot for the night — stars read, legends walked, and at least one triangle that's got BSAB wound up somethin' fierce.
[ALIEN] Fair dinkum, I'll calm down by tomorrow — probably. Same time, same lake, we'll have more beauties tae show ya.
[NESSIE] Away and get yer rest the now, and keep an eye oot for wee signs on yer way — the world's full o' them if ye ken where tae look. Goodnight, ma lovelies.
[ALIEN] Goodnight, mate. Watch the skies!
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